Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

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Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

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How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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Q: Do these jeans make me look fat? A: No your fat makes you look fat.

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How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

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What's worse than a terrible joke? A worse joke.

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slaughter the mussies #EDL

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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What did the elephant say to the other elephant? We're both elephants!

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Guys, I think I'm gonna apply to join the Crips. My SAT score is a 2050, and their average score is a 2200. My GPA, however, is a 4.6, and their average is only a 4.2. Do you guys think that they will take me? Or should I try and apply for the Bloods?

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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Your mam is so fat.

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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