There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two women get in the shower at the same time, because they both start work at 8:00am and have commutes of similar length.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

thumb_up thumb_down -4

That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

more like nig!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A: knock knock B: the door is open, why don't you come right in?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops