If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he needed to get to the other side and he was using a crosswalk

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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A car walks into a bar.

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why did kyle and jake have sex? Because they were gay.

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

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You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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A man finds an antique lamp at a garage sale. He takes it home and polishes it, and a majestic genie materializes. The genie thanks the man for freeing him from excruciating slavery, shakes his hand, and returns home to his overjoyed family.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops