What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? Friends

You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

Where did Susie go when her town was bombed? Everywhere.

What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

What happens if u call a black kid names? He tells an adult and u get in trouble

whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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