Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ring ring yes.This is doctor steve and we got our test results and it seems that you'r son has butinites and you'r kind sytoms are nothing because he is just an ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A person from Singapore eats

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops