Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

What did the grape say to the bannana? Nothing.

wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

Sex

How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

Asians

Microwave

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

Why is the ground wet It rained

What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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