What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

You might be a redneck if someone slaps you on the back of the neck.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: Because it was stapled to the chicken.

HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

Jacob Edwards has friends.

Guess what I saw today?..........Nothing I'm Blind.

Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

What do you do when your dish washer breaks? divorce her.

What's big and long? My dick.

Justin Beiber

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...