A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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What do you call an Asian man in a car? A motorist.

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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What did the homeless man say to his friends? He doesn't have any friends.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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Stop Spam Read Books

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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A midget walked under a bar.

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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im not black, im Joseph Kony

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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what's white and sticky semen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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