What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

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this is not a joke.

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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Yo mama so old, she might die soon

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

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How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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