Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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How do you make a little girl cry?

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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It said i can write my own joke so i did.

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roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

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Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

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if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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