- Anti Joke

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

Why was the kindergarten teacher crying? a child had just choked to death

Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Microwave

What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

Why is the ground wet It rained

Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.