What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

Why is America so great? Because the continent is really large.

How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

what did the women with no arms and legs say to her daughter? go to your room.

Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

What did one bunny rabbit say to the other bunny rabbit? I'm a bunny rabbit!

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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