A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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What did the Mexican man say to the black man? Hello, how are you today?

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Q: What did the shark say while eating the surfer A: Nothing, his mouth was full, and besides....sharks cannot talk.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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The WNBA.

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ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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