So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

Roses are der Violets are eulb I am dyslexic

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

I was strolling along the countryside and saw 2 niiggers peacefully hanging from a tree

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

Where does Charlie Sheen Shop? Winners

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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