One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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Why did the kid want to do his science test? He didnt, who would want to do a science test...

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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A horse walks into a bar. It trips over a barstool, breaks it's leg, and is butchered and turned into canned dog food.

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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why weren't all the jews wiped out in WW2 the gas bill was too expensive

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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