Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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Why does a man wake up every morning to do the same job over again? Because, wait... what the heck kind of a question is that?

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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whats white and big and white? alot of things...

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

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nice tits.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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Why did the clam not like to share? The deep sea is a competitive environment, where survival of the fittest is prominent.

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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9/11

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

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One man says to the other man "Hello Sir, how are you this morning?" He replies "I am doing rather well, and how are you?" The first man replies "Quite good." And they continue about their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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