You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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knock knock

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Guess what? AIDS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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