why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

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Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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