*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

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A man sets his house on fire. His wife comes home, what did she ask? Why'd you set the house on fire?

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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