What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +14

We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Knock knock." "Come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops