What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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Why did the girl fall out of the tree? Because she had no arms

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was tired of working for the man.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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What did death say to life? Go die

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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Why are there no casinos in Africa? Because of the exceptionally high poverty rate.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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