What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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why wasn't the boy at his moms funeral? He killed his mom.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

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A seal walks into a club.

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Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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i read the terms of service when i posted this

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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