Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn What starts with B and ends with ITCH? Bewitch

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

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A young woman goes to a wild, infamous nightclub, all alone. She arrives safely at home a few hours later.

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What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

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What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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Female rights.

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How do you know if you have a good slave? It is hard working and determined... And black

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

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Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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in soviet russia, cow milks you

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What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

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Q: In 2900 A.D, why did the stars started blasting at each other and exploding? A: Because it was the time for "Star Wars".

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politically correct!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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