What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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What did the guy say to the girl when he was holding a tool? You're a tool????

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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why did the man die? Because he was robbing a bank and police used lethal weapons By- the duck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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