fava beans

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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Vote this down and get DOXED

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knock knock

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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