A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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what is the difference between a black person and a white person there skin

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What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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a kid walks into a room and confesses to his mother he is gay the mother then repeatedly beats him until he is bleeding out of both ears then leaves him there to think about what he just said.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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spell backwards: taco cat

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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What happened to the blond that went to collage? She got her masters degree and became a brain surgeon.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a cucumber? You can't gas a cucumber.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Prostate exam > Some of these Anti Jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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