This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

we asked cheryl cole what she would do if it was the last day on earth she replied.. id probably spend all the time with my family. wrong cheryl youd spend your last day on earth running away from other people wanting to accomplish their last day on earth dreams

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was a woman crying in a corner of a room She was raped

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What would happen if RAINN Wilson, the actor, married Michael MANN, the director? They'd probably be arrested; 2 men can't get married in California anymore (thanks a lot, Utah)!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the DJ play at the disco? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that coming over the hill? Confused, mind bruised, it seeps out It seeps out, it seeps out Face down, home town looks so grey Looks so grey, looks so grey Convexed you bend, twist and shout Twist and shout, twist and shout Stand up brush off get moving Get moving, get moving What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) Face down, home town, face down, home town Face down, home town, it looks so grey (x4) What's that coming over the hill Is it a monster? Is it a monster? (x4) More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/monster_lyrics_automatic_the.html All about Automatic The: http://www.musictory.com/music/Automatic+The

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When I was just a little kid, my daddy lest the house and we all joined him to wherever he wanted to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops