Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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How many Black People does it take to change a lightbulb? One. Changing a lightbulb is a very simple task.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Women's Rights.

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

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Question: Whats worse then getting hit by a bus? Answer: Getting hit by a train.

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops