Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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Why can't John hear what Muhammad says? John is deaf.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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whats 2+2 equal? 4

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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Justin Bieber.

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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what do you call a black man flying a plane?? a pilot ,you racist!

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Dig Bick Your dislexic

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personality disorder And so do we

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Knock Knock. Who'se there? It's Dave. Dave who? Um, you invited me over here. Open the damn door.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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