Whats the answer to life? im not sure

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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John Cena

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks his father to explain the birds and bees. The father then proceeds to rape the little boy.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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what is the difference between a black person and a white person there skin

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What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you...

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Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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