One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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Where's my tractor?

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them Why did Jane fall off the swing She has no arms Why did Jack drop his ice cream cone He got hit by a bus Did you know that if you pretend to eat salt you can actualy taste it Do this in public. Why was 6 afraid of 7 Numbers can't think This is the original anti joke A man walked into a bar he is an alcoholic and is distroying his family. Fin a penny pick it up and all the day you will have good luck Until you get hit with a car door. A man is SCUBA diving when he is almost out of air so he takes one breath an holds it to the surface The trip is so long that his lungs explode do to a change in pressure so he died.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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why was the giraffes head so far away from his body? because he has a long neck

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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