asdf

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a person to stop talking to you? Ask nicely to please be quiet and let me talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call an underground train full of professors? It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Guy 1: why are you being such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's city is in New York New York City

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops