AIDS.

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whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane from Mexico City to Los Angeles? A pilot you racist.

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Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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What do you call a car that doesn't work? Broken.

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops