im not black, im Joseph Kony

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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I'm at my grandmothers house right now

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Why was the girl stupid? Because she had a low IQ

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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You've been in robotics too long if you start talking to your tools. You've been in there way too long if they start talking back!

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Stop Spam Read Books

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What do you call a banana? A banana.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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