roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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What happened when an FBI agent and a cop argued over control of a hostage situation? Several people including a respected community leader were killed.

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

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What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

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Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Johnny tried talking to his dog, there was no response.

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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