When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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God

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Why Do Girls Have holes?? For the guys poles.

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Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Face Hunter is scum

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

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Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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Jimmy is taking a walk to Dairy Queen he walks into an allyway where he is shot with a 44 magnum and later dies in hospital his family morns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops