Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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I used to be an adventurer like you. But then I retired and started a family.

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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What's worse than winning the lottery? Anything, really...

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I dont know so why are you asking?

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Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops