what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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why did Sarah fall out of the swing? she had no arms. Knock knock. who's there? not Sarah.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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Why did the blonde girl lie? Because she's a liar.

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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i like it in the mouth

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Oh, right

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Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

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Alex Gedrose.

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops