whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What's the difference between tiger woods and Santa clause? Tiger woods is a thug

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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Why was the chair sad? It wasn't, for chairs do not posses the proper attributes to feel emotions such as depression.

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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One time I walked into a fat kid..

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1

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What happens when 2 gay men rub their penises together Jello

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

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Q: What's 1 + 1? A: I don't know, I am an African who was bought up in the famine my mother died, my father starved. I have to sell myself to feed my sisters. I never went to school and drink my urine every second day because I have no water.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

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Why does a Jew, a catholic, and a buddhist eat pizza? because they like the way it tastes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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