Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i keep getting thumbs down...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If you are reading this you will soon suffer a slow and painful blow job... -_-

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did George shaw fall off the swin?. Because he got a bowl thrown at his head

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

poop

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He was happy to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

1

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops