- Anti Joke

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

I like my women how I like my coffee; without a penis.

What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

What the difference between a duck? One of the legs is both the same.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

Asians

What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

What does a muslim do on a plane? Flies to his intended destination without causing a problem.

What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game