A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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An alphabet walks into the post office and asks for a letter. What does the postal worker give the alphabet? Nothing. Alphabets can't walk.

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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How do you kill a black man? You drop a fridge on him.

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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