What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms

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What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

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What's worse than finding half of a worm in an apple? a razorblade.

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Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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A dog walks into a bar, the dog is assisting his blind owner

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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A Penn State administrator walks in to a butt.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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