Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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Gingers.

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops