How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

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What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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guest what i love pancakes

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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John Cena

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his family died in a car crash

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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