Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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What's black, white and red and can't turn round in corridors? A nun with a spear through her head

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three jews walk into a bar. then a bear mauls them.

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Q: How do turn water into wine. A: You don't.

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69

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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What do you call two black men screaming as loud as they can? Scared

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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What did the little boy say to his malignant tumour? "Hello" The tumour did not respond.

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A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

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The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

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Pitbull is Mr. Worldwide because his music sucks everywhere in the world

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Why did sally fall off the swings? She didn't have any arms. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally, she doesn't have any arms.

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Your moms so old. She might die soon

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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What is the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa is a fictional character used to represent Christmas, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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What do you call a poor Donald Trump? Donald Trump

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What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops