A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

So I was walking down the road today

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

Q: What's your dog's name ? A: Dog. Q: What's your cat's name ? A: Cat. Q: What's your dick's name A: Pinky

Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

69

Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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