A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Their was once a man named Bob Clemens who really wanted to have sex with an underage girl. So one day he went on an online chat site to find one. He ran into this young girl and told her all the things he wanted to do to her and she told him that she had never done anything and really wanted to try it. Bob went over to her house one day and she told him to sit down and grab some cookies while she came back. She came back and Bob gave her the roughest pounding that any human being could recieve.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Miscarriages.

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Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

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Well that explains a lot, thank you.

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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