A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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there was a blonde red head and black they were on misty mountain the black was the smartest so she jumped off and said bird flew like a bird the red jumped and said falcon and glided like a falcon then the blonde the dumb one tripped said oh crap turned into crap and wentt to the bottom and bursted

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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ring around the rosie ... your dead

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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How is matt and alicia going last after summer They won't

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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Andrew's a bald wankstain.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

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Fine, just give me the top comment FOREVER, and I wont LIEK completely copy and assimilate your identity on Horsehead network... Forever... Muahahahahahaha!

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A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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