How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

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Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? They are different species... do i really need to explain the difference??

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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I saw GESUS and SHE's BLACK

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops