When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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What happens when you go from a jew to a penguin? A huge climate change.

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you better accept "balls in yo mouf"...

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What did the down syndrome girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

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Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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