So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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oh hai

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Q: How did the black man get the white man's money? A: He walked up, politely asked if he could borrow some money, and told him he would pay him back tomorrow.

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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what happened when the chicken crossed the road? it got ran over by a car recently after it go killed it was eaten by a hobo and the hobo died from ring worm

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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whats the difference between a black man and a terd ? one is a black man the other is a terd

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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What happens when a man runs naked into a bank? He doesn't get service because he isn't wearing shoes or a shirt

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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