What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Theres a crazy ass alpaca ready to take a shit on you

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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whats worse than nailing 8 babies to 8 trees? nailing 1 baby to 8 trees.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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