So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

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what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Poop!!

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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